and now, friends, a not-so-friendly reminder

people are dark.

people are wicked.

people are selfish.

people don't care, they don't love, and they aren't honest.

and were it not for the Holy Spirit, i would never trust anyone.

including myself.

homework haiku

"the excellent wife" -

the only homework that i

do not hate doing.

a friendly reminder

it's much easier to thoughtlessly (and sinfully) complain than to lovingly (and biblically) confront.

(try to remind yourself of that the next time you start to recount to someone else all the horrible things someone has done to you. it may stop you mid-sentence. or at least, it probably should.)

theo II homework time

(note: i wrote this right after it happened. my clock is not wrong.)

about two minutes ago, at the lyon’s starbucks at 9:21pm, i was being watched. i was reading the book, “saved by grace”, by Anthony A. Hoekema. a girl had been looking my way for a few minutes. soon after, she was standing up. now, she was directly behind me. not knowing what was going on, i turn around; i see her. we make eye contact. i turn back to what i’m doing; she stays there. i start to turn around again, this time more confused. she then comes alive, kind of laughs, and says, “oh, i’m sorry, i’m just being nosy.” i said i didn’t mind at all, and that i can be the same way but i’m not as bold to ever do anything about it. she asked what book it was; i showed her the cover. she asked what class it was for; i said theology. she says, “oh wow, how are you liking that?” i say, “well, it’s a DS – direct study – so all i do is read books and write papers, but it’s really interesting and good stuff.” she says, “well what is that book about?” i say, “this is one of five that i have to read for this class. it’s about an aspect of Christian theology, how it is God’s grace alone that saves people, and not their works or other religious stuff people try to do.” she kind of cocked her head a bit. “wow, really? i’ve never heard that before... well, thanks for letting me be nosy! hope you do well in your class!” and before i could say anything else, she pranced back off to her friends.

i didn’t evangelize. i didn’t give her the complete gospel message including Christ’s crucifixion and resurrection after three days. i didn’t explain total depravity or the fall of man. but i couldn’t stop thinking how thankful i was for that brief little interaction. God is so good. and i’m so glad i came to starbucks to do homework tonight.

thank you, edward t. welch:

"instead of teaching us how to identify the [reasons why we are] suffering, Scripture directs us to the God who knows all things and is fully trustworthy. in other words, Scripture doesn't give us knowledge so that we will have intellectual mastery of certain events; it gives us knowledge so that we would know and trust God. 'God, i don't know what You are doing, but You do, and that is enough.'"

"you are standing at a crossroads and you will take one path or another. there is no such thing as not choosing, because 'not choosing' is one of the paths. it too is a choice. your decision is between calling out to the Lord or not...You can sit in silence or cry out the Lord. you can cry on your bed or cry out to the Lord. these are the two choices."

"....'i have lost the most important thing in life' could be reinterpreted as, 'God is not enough.'"

"the challenge for us is to think as God thinks. in other words, our present thinking must be turned upside-down. we once thought that suffering was to be avoided at all costs; now, we must understand that the path to becoming more like Jesus goes through hardship, and it is much better than the path of brief and superficial comfort without Jesus."

"humility says, 'God owes me nothing.' 'He is not my servant; i am His.' 'God is God, and He has the right to do anything He wants.'"

"Love produces hope. If we, in our misery, are absolutely persuaded of God's love, we will be confident that He will deliver us. Therefore, we hope in Him. We can wait as long as it takes, because we are sure that He hears us and loves us. He will come. He will deliver...God's love inspires both an eagerness to be with Him and a confidence that He is true to His Word, so we know that He will come."

out of the depths i cry to you, O LORD;

O Lord, hear my voice.

let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.

if You, O LORD, kept a record of sins,

O Lord, who could stand?

But with You there is forgiveness;

therefore You are feared.

i wait for the LORD, my soul waits,

and in HIs Word i put my hope.

my soul waits for the Lord

more than the watchmen wait for the morning,

more than the watchmen wait for the morning.

O Israel, put your hope in the LORD,

for with the LORD is unfailing love

and with Him is full redemption.

He Himself will redeem Israel from all their sins.

words i've heard before, but no less true

and You said, "I know that this will hurt, but if I don't break your heart, things will just get worse. when the burden seems too much to bear, remember: the end will justify the pain it took to get us there."

reach out to me, and make my heart brand new.

every beat will beat for You. for You.

and i know You know You've touched my life

and when You touched my heavy heart,

You made it light.

and though i've said them a thousand times,

i know He never will reject me when i cry out these words

for the thousand-and-one --

in the chaos; in confusion, i know You're sovereign, still

in the moment of my weakness, You give me grace to do Your will

so when You call, i won't delay

this my song for all my days

there is no one else for me,

none but Jesus

crucified to set me free,

now i live to bring Him praise

(i'm Yours, and You are mine)

all my delight is in You, Lord

all of my hope, all of my strength

all my delight is in You, Lord

forevermore

this morning i woke up with this overwhelming fear of love and i'm not sure if i can resurrect you

oh God

my God

show me what to do with my heart,

because nothing makes sense anymore.

thank you.

that was more needed than i even realized.

and now...

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

(Hebrews 12)