(we won't stop running til we get to the light)

you and i; we've got a lot to be glad for.





tonight was precious in so many ways and i want to save that moment and keep it and remember it when we are old and grey and still young and in love, but then i start to think -

but what if you leave?



what if this isn't it?



i chased the romantic's dream for so long; then it left me in a pond of tears and broken bones
i knew a movie script ending is not what i should be seeking and so i left that, too
my head told me that in fifty years all the pretty words will have no meaning
and look at me now, so practical, realistic, pragmatic, grounded

i've shunned away memories that have enticed my heart and strayed me from You, but now what am i to do? am i finally ready make new ones that i shall cherish when i lay awake at night? or is that to be reserved only for he who recieves also my whole heart?

memories are made regardless; i can't stop them from happening but i also cannot force them to come. contrived things make me nauseated. but this was not contrived. it is happening. it is now. and you are leaving in two weeks; and then come september i will be alone for four months. but i will not be alone, for He is my Rock. but still, four months. four months. four months.

four months of memories made without the other.




right when my heart starts to find its home in you.



yet You are such a good Father.