and though i've been mistaken on this or that point; that light is God

Monday, January 11, 2010

that thing

that little virtual button which was pushed about an hour and a half ago
i almost feel as if it were the same as pressing the big green "GO" button to release rapid fire on myself the second i get back to school (or possibly beforehand)
from a squad of confused, angry, hurt, gossiping, whispering soldiers
some who used to call themselves friends
some who just like to get in the know about that sort of thing
some who don't care and just want to get on with it

and i don't know how to handle it --

something that feels so wonderful and deadly at the same time
something so simultaneously joyful, precious, sincere
which makes me so worried, anxious, concerned



...but about what?

other people's opinions?
(or about pleasing the Lord?)








--dang it, megan. you're such an idiot sometimes.

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