old/new/now

i found this flipping through my prayer journal tonight. i wrote it december 6th, 2009. i remember. it was during church, after something convicted my heart so greatly, i couldn't contain the words it brought my head. it is truth that i want to rule over my heart and mind and life; a truth which so often doesn't. and i remember, that day, i needed it more than i could find the words to express. but i tried to express what i could.

and now, i find it an even more needed reminder for my life today than it was a month ago.

(i probably knew it would be. that's probably why i wrote it down.)

_________

Christ is my joy; I am His bride. I do not need anything or anyone else for emotional comfort, satisfaction, or gratification. Christ's love alone is sufficient; His person is enough. No human relationship will ever compare, no matter what age, level of spiritual maturity, or personal compatibility. It is then, and only then, when I keep this truth in view and never cease to bring it to mind (as I am so often quick to forget) so I might not forsake my first love in Christ, that I will ever be able to experience the fullest measure of joy that is possible in all other earthly relationships.

By what means?

Because Christ is the only One who has the ability and power and means to bring that joy about. His love is perfect. Therefore, I would be on a futile, aimless and depressing search were I to try and find a love from others to fulfill in my heart what only the Son of God is able to do. Yet, when this truth takes reign over my soul, and Christ has His rightful place on the throne of my desires and affections, my selfish expectations and demands of others to meet my cravings love will be incredibly less, if not vanished completely. It is then and only then, as previously stated, that i may give love - the true kind of love - freely to others, as it cannot help but generously overflow from the cup that I have in the love of my Savior. Furthermore, any love that I may receive from another, in whatever form, is simply accepted with gratitude and humility, no matter how flawed, common, or seemingly insignificant;

I already posses all the love my heart could ever need in the complete, perfect, and unending love of my Lord.