alright. i'm finally saying it.

...i miss being able to talk about the Lord and not feel like i have to give a million disclaimers preceding my conversation, like:

“i know this seems cliché, but…”
“i’m sorry this sounds cheesy, but…”
“i know everyone says this, but…”
“not to sound Masters-y, but…”

i miss being able to talk about the Lordship of Christ in one’s life, about the heart being the main issue, about having a love relationship with Jesus, about selfish desires and godly motives and bible passages and mutual encouragement without fearing someone is thinking (or actually saying to me) --
“well of course you’d say that, you’re a biblical counseling major.”

i’m tired of trying so hard not to fall into some Christian stereotype that i start to neglect Christ Himself.

i’m sick of this attitude that so fears being equated with the homeschool girl down the hall to the point where i avoid voicing my own desire to be in women’s ministry.

i’m honestly fed up with our embarrassment of the Christian pop culture, so we quickly run to the other side, whole-heartedly embracing the morally lenient and indulgent culture of this world.

i’m exhausted. i’m drained. and so, i’m done.

i am a Christian. i sound cheesy sometimes. i’m not cool. i get overly exicted about trivial things. i laugh a lot. i love phil wickham, relient k, and five iron frenzy. their lyrics make me fall on my knees and cry before the Lord in worship, or (with the latter) fall on the ground in laughter. i talk really fast at times, especially, when i’m extremely passionate about something. i get excited about God doing wonderful things in my life and lives of others, and am often extremely passionate about it; therefore, to the point of talking really fast. i like taking drives into nowhere and talking about how beautiful the sunset is because the Lord has made it. i love talking to high school girls about Jesus being their lover and how they should wait for a boy who loves God more than he loves girls. i’ll dance around like an idiot at times; sometimes because i’m just that happy, sometimes because i’m just a nerd. i care more about lyrics in worship than the music sounding good, and i try really hard to worship the Lord as passionately as i would if the song was to my liking. i believe that God does “open” and “close” doors, that He can work through circumstances, and that He even uses our screw-ups, because His heart is about glorifying Himself and working out things for our good. i believe the Lord has a plan for me, but that He cares more about me obeying Him in what He has already told me is His will for me in His Word, than having some self-fulfilled future based on my own dreams and agendas. i believe that Christ is my fulfillment, my joy, my everything – though i struggle to remember this daily. my best and closest friendships are with those who mutually encourage one another towards love and good deeds, who share with me what the Lord is doing in their lives and ask me about what He’s doing in mine, who really pray for me and ask me to pray for them, and who aren’t afraid to talk about the Jesus like He really is King, Savior, Lord, and Love of their life.

i don’t care how cheesy that sounds.

i don’t care how cliché that sounds.

i don’t care how Christian-y or Maters-y or Biblical Counseling-ish that sounds.

that is me. that is who i am, and that is the God i serve.

(and i’m not just okay with that. i’m ecstatic about it.)