ain't this just like the present

saturday, 9/26

woke up at 11:30 am

watched youtube videos in my room (by myself)

ate tuna and crackers at 1:30 pm

sitting on the dirty floor

lauren came in

"it smells like fish"

she left soon after.

i left shortly, too

2:30 pm, or something

went to panera bread

did some homework plus

some renewing of the mind.

5:00 pm, jackson hole meeting

in the cafeteria

first social interaction all day

it was only an hour.

6:00pm, hid in the practice rooms

to release and refresh (while)

procrastinating on homework

played some smiths songs

and casiotone, too

thought about my day

and almost got depressed

then realized it was almost nine

and that i was going to a show

that i felt i should have been

more excited for

in two hours

two hours later

sunday, 9/27

twelve am, midnight

i was in a car with

four people:

awkward, quiet.

loud, fun.

(not quite what i expected)

an hour in a car

the national on the speakers

and six (or seven)

restroom attempts later

finally, passing though the gate

of the hollywood forever cemetery

surrounded by death

at nearly one in the morning

to witness (and be a part of)

something that made me feel so alive

spread out blankets,

on the cold cold (and somewhat wet) ground

watched creation sprout from the earth

from a bright light projected on a white wall

heard some music that made me miss

things i didn't know i felt

drank a monster earlier;

stayed awake pretty easy

kristen stepped in a muddy hole

surprised it wasn't me

luckily she was wearing boots

which i was not so wise to do

then the snow started falling

and we went closer to feel it on our faces

oh, i felt it alright

and it was more beautiful than imagined

when i sat in my room

the day before

listening to my life

sung by a man

who i will never meet.

and so tonight,

after finishing something for a meeting that i am about to have

in thirty minutes

i realized

that i had, subsequently

lived through some of the most

inconsequential

somewhat miserable

lonely, slow, lazy, mundane

twelves hours of my life

that i will soon forget once i finish writing

this

followed by

a series of the most

profound, powerful

incredible, memorable

brilliant, beautiful

twelve hours

i that have ever experienced.

and that i will (probably) always remember

for the rest of this vapor-like life

until my body of a grave is laid down along with the rest

of the names and faces on the stones

that i walked by, all alive

so many times

and that

thought alone

made me want to write this

very post.