"for me, a lot of it comes down to the sad fact that i honestly just want what i can't have. like, all the time. with everything. clothes, jobs, guys. and when i get what i want, i see it for what it is, and i'm like, 'this is what i wanted so badly? bummer.' and God shows me again that all i really cared about was not God's best, but my own sinful cravings, and desire for attention. it doesn't matter what it is. but that's a sin that plagues me wherever i go, with everything i interact with, and i have to purposefully guard against it or i will be sucked into that trap again and again."
she said something like that, something close to that affect, and i wanted to cry, and say,
"see there, that's it. oh God, i'm so sorry. that is me. that's the answer to everything."
but instead i just said, "yeah, i understand. i probably need to guard against that, too."
No comments:
Post a Comment